The Employment Countdown

Just wanted to give an update and catalogue all my current jobs. Partly to inform the blogosphere, partly to show myself that I'm doing something (and then a third partly: to make sure I remember them all!). So, here's what's up:

1. My retail job, which was meant to be seasonal, has kept me on for part-time year round. Which means a shift or two every week. It was such good news because not only does it mean that I can make a little cash, it means that one of my jobs actually involves human interaction! I love freelancing and getting to work from home, but I'm not gonna lie, spending day after day in my living room was giving me cabin fever. Plus, making new friends is one of those intangible job benefits that I appreciate.

2. Still writing for Examiner.com in Literature and Knitting for Austin. Loving the structure of writing an article every day, and it's all stuff I'm really interested in, which is a major bonus. If anyone is interested in writing for Examiner, I totally encourage it for the experience, as well as for giving you an easy way to provide writing samples for anything else you apply for. Plus, it does pay at least a little something. If you're in the US or Canada (where Examiner is) and really want to give it a shot, leave a comment here or contact me and I'll walk you through it and you can add me as having referred you.

3. Also still going strong with Moogi, cataloguing the ins and outs of every Project Runway episode and the products it features. I'm a little burnt out on the second show I edit, just because it involves a certain amount of time and menial mind labor. But I love television and I think the site is going to be awesome when we get bigger and bigger. Also, the guys who run it are amazing. Seriously, I e-mail a question, and I get an answer within an hour 85% of the time, plus random e-mails that have extra info for me that they found.

4. Freelancing for the local paper is still on. My first article was published in January (Maybe I'll post a pic soon!), and I'm working with the editor to figure out my next assignments. There's something about seeing your work published in a true publication (i.e. not run by a school) and on paper, not just a screen. It feels so legit.

5. Just started a new blog writing position contributing weekly for the Food Culture Blog. My first post isn't up yet, but it's another gig that let's me put my writing out there and tackle a subject I love (fooooooood!). Without conferences to write for SLC, I've been missing the opportunity to delve into a subject and do some research. Getting to do this lets me think of mini-conference topics every week. Plus, I'm going to be trying out some awesome new recipes for it as well. Yum!

And.....I think that's it! Isn't it enough? Well, no. Still looking for more, and as always, looking for benefits. I heard Obama wants to make it possible for students who graduate to be covered by their parent's plan up to age 24. Hoping that not only this is true, but that it will be applied retroactively because COBRA is kind of a scam.

You Know You're a Cat Lady When...

I'm currently transitioning a cat that lived at my dad's house to my mom's house. She's been inside for about two weeks, to make sure she doesn't run away and try and return to her old home. The first day she was confused and sniffing around, and spending a lot of time in the chair I brought over to give her something that 'smelled' right. I was feeling very guilty at the trauma I had exposed her to.

But now, she is perfectly well adapted to the new house, explored every last corner, and she's itching to go outside. Itching, scratching, meowing, she's ready. But I'm not.

I've let her outside twice now. Both times I've followed her around and then brought her in after ten or twenty minutes. I'm starting to think that if I ever become a mother, I'll be the one sitting outside of Pre-K, chewing their fingernails and bursting through the door after half an hour to take the kid home. That's enough, let's go home! See what I mean? Cat lady. Whenever you can link your treatment of your cat to a child, it's time to rethink the warning signs and take control of your life. Before you become a Mother Goose rhyme.

Of course, there are legitimate concerns. I don't want her getting lost, etc. And because she tends to shuffle off any collar around her neck, she has no ID, which brings nightmares of someone else taking her in or taking her to a shelter. But, as is my wont, these rational issues become irrationally dangerous in my mind. I think one of the drawbacks of working at home is that you interact more with cats than with people.

So I'm trying to take a step back and force myself to open the door. These are the trials and tribulations of a freelance writer.

Confessions of a Burnout

I've been remiss in posting, I must apologize. But at least I can write about my reasons, vague and slim though they may be.

This past week or so, I've been slowly losing steam. It feels like I just need a little extra motivation to get things done. I still write my Examiner articles every day, but it's the other things that are starting to feel tedious and like more work than they actually are. This blog, for instance. I have three other drafts for posts as I type, that will most likely never see the light of day. I get an idea, I begin to write, but before I can perfect it, I move onto to something else and it falls by the wayside, never to be touched again. And I second-guess myself constantly, wondering if anyone really cares that I moved a cat from my dad's house to my mom's, or that I made a new friend. With two followers, I'm buckling under expectation! Ridiculous. More than likely it's the growing fear that I've run out of interesting things to write about because I spend most of my days writing. Does that make sense?

There's also my television info logging. I dutifully watch 'Project Runway' and input all the interesting data on Saturday morning, when the episode is posted online and I can time out all the scenes. I enjoy this quite a bit, and have gotten into the habit when watching television of picking out what would and would not be an info item, or trying to discern a particular product brand. Unfortunately, I have been lax in my coverage of the defunct show 'Roswell.' Perhaps as a reaction to working on Saturday, it takes some initiative on my part to actually pop in the DVD and watch another episode, cataloguing scene times and info objects. It isn't that I don't like it, it's just that I'm in such a strangely unmotivated funk.

It didn't help that yesterday, despite constantly creating new content, my Examiner page views dipped dramatically. Three page views for the entire day. Very special. Still plodding along, but I'm going to need a little more than three reads to feel as though my typing is worth something.

Perhaps, like caffeine, small amounts of recognition and even smaller amounts of pay can only sustain you for so long. Eventually, you're going to have to sleep, or take something stronger. I'm still on the lookout for a position that is both financially and personally satisfying, though at this point anything would be welcome. I don't want to stop writing, and I do enjoy the work I'm doing, but thinking down the road, this is not a situation I can handle long term. Maybe it's the capitalist influence, but I need to know that my skills as I writer are worth money and benefits. In my head I know they are, but in the world all I see are ads for experience or something not down my alley.

I don't want to sound self-pitying, or give the impression that I'm not a go-getting, self-starting catch of an employee. It's just that a daily grind that doesn't seem to be getting anywhere is immensely frustrating, if not paralyzing. I'm the kind of person who likes to see the results of their work, and to know where their effort is getting them. Studying leads to good grades, which leads to good college, which leads to more studying, which leads to good job. When something in that linear frame of thinking gets skewed, it's hard to keep believing that hard work equals compensation. How many months can you get by on putting yourself out there before you just want to crawl back in, wave the white flag and become an accountant?

I know this will pass. I know because I still get excited when there's a new topic to discuss and a new comment on my articles. I just need a deep breath, maybe a day off, and to not get another bill in the mail.

Crafting a Work Day

Working from home on various projects affords a great deal of flexibility. But sometimes, in my obsessively-planned world, flexibility isn't what I'm looking for.

I kept pretty regular hours even after high school. They were not atypical for a college student: up until about midnight or later, sleeping through to ten and getting ready for class at eleven. Your time is basically your own to decide whether to study or write or goof, but there are still the absolutes of class time providing a rigid backbone, and eventually you fall into a pattern of dividing the hours a certain way.

Of course office life is defined by the nine to five. You know when to wake up, and you know that during the day you will be working, leaving your personal activities for after the drive home. This of course does not apply to things like Facebook, which seem to have wormed their way into the workplace as the number one time waster, causing employers to shake their heads. But basically, there are allotted hours for you and allotted hours for your work.

Working from home is very different. I suppose if I had a regular position for which I was simply working remotely it would be easier to create a work day in my living room, tackling the same eight-hour workload from the comfort of my sofa. But with a myriad of things to do, writing, researching, watching old episodes of TV shows to log online, there's no set period of time I must devote to each activity. I do set my alarm in the morning, and generally wake up around 8:30 each day to start up the computer and brush my teeth, grabbing a yogurt as I open up all the windows of my browser (at two of which devoted to social networking) and get settled in for the day.

I work on my articles, adding links to whatever is going up today and adding content to others scheduled to go out later in the week. I also look up other things I could write about soon, to keep my calendar full. My goal at the moment is to publish an article every weekday, sometimes more if there's just an embarrassment of content riches. I'm also taking frequent, short breaks for walking, just a few laps around the house or the block, trying to keep a foundation of movement in my day. Then there's the job searching, which is regularly random, checking the usual sites for something new and exciting that will pay me. And of course, thinking up ideas for posts here! It's all very exciting.

Lunch takes as long as it takes, though I could probably keep that around 30 minutes if I really wanted to, and then it's the same again as the morning, only with some DVD-watching paired with furious note-taking. Plus planning for dinner, which I have taken responsibility for. My culinary skills would wow you. Did you know you have to take the plastic off of the cheese slices? Kidding.

Anyway, the mix of work and extraneous activity is relaxing, and everything gets done. The only problem comes at night, when I could be knitting (I knit!) or reading a magazine, but I still feel the urge to work, and if I'm not, I feel just a little bit guilty. Since I always can be working, it seems lazy to not be doing a little work all the time. I think this tendency is magnified just because I'm not making money, so I want to feel that I'm actually working, justifying myself and every hour of my day. Which doesn't seem very healthy.

So I'm trying to keep regular hours for work and play. Of course I'm writing this in the evening (posting it in the morning), as I take notes on the latest Project Runway episode, which gets logged mostly on Saturdays when Lifetime deems it fit to put the episode online so I can time out the scenes. Maybe I can't schedule out my time as rigidly right now, and maybe that's a good thing. It means I can have a friend over to watch movies while I write, or nap away a headache and work later into the night. It's good to stretch my adaptability muscles every once in a while. I'll think of it as training. Wait-lifting (gotta end with a pun).

Insert Pun Here

"It's a Love Match," "Serving Up Fun," there's a slew of wonderful puns I could use to begin this post, but let's not, shall we? Instead, let's just jump into my favorite sport, and why I love it.

Being from Texas, football would be a logical assumption for my favorite sport, but I've blown hot and cold with it. For one thing, why bother having a clock, when the last five minutes of a game can go on for half an hour? And why so many guys on a team who only seem to be able to complete one aspect of the game on their own? I like soccer (or as my mother would say, "real football"), but generally only international events like the World Cup where the stakes are high and the games are competitive. There's something about the fact that "friendlies" can end in a tie that seems to go against the general quality of a sport.

No, tennis is the one for me. There is no sport where an athlete is so alone in their play. Even golf, an individual sport, players have caddies to discuss shots with a choose clubs. The closest a tennis player gets is the roar of the crowd and sly signaling from their box. But it is up to them and no one else to keep their mind in the game.

There are so many stories in tennis. You have Federer, the best out there right now. I've been a little ambiguous in my feelings for him because it does get a little dull knowing who will ultimately win a match or tournament. No matter how many gorgeous shots he hits, it doesn't get interesting until someone returns them (just one reason I love Nadal so much). But when Federer shows emotion, that's when I love him. When he lost the Australian Open, he was clearly devastated, and when he won the French Open for the first time, completing the career Grand Slam, he was full of joyful tears and disbelief. I admire his skill, but it's the desire I require to root for someone. For the same reason that I care so much for characters in books and movies, I love to see a player enjoy the win of their life.

By the same token, I do suffer when a favorite player loses. I've been a fan of Andy Roddick since 2001's Wimbledon, where he lost to eventual winner Ivanisevic. My fandom is simple: I don't just want him to win, I know he can, and it's disappointing when he doesn't. When he won the US Open I was ecstatic. When he lost the epic Wimbledon final to Federer, I was in tears the rest of the afternoon, but consoled by the fact that he almost beat Federer, something no one thought he could do there.

The women's game can be just as interesting, though the drama of a break of serve isn't as high because it happens more often. But with Clijsters return, and the amazing run of Melanie Oudin, there's always something popping up to make life interesting. I won't comment on the recent kerfuffle with Serena Williams' outburst, I'll just say that it's a shame Clijsters didn't get her winning moment, and that this is what most people will take from the match, and possibly the tournament. Why is it people seem to only tune into tennis when someone is yelling?

One of the advantages to working at home is that I can do what I like while I work, which includes watching hours of television coverage on grand slams. First, Wimbledon, my first and favorite tournament, and now near its end, the US Open, with its own special place in my heart because I was there last year. There's nothing quite like being able to watch every single moment of each round (or at least every moment they decide is important enough to show me). It's not the same to see the score update online or watch the recaps at night.

I love waking up every morning to the ESPN or CBS team. Anyone not in the US won't know what I mean when I talk about "Pammy," "Killer," "Cliffy," "MJ," "BJ," along with Dick Enberg and John and Patrick McEnroe (who I like to think of as "Knick-knack, Patty-Mc"). But truly, were I to go to another event, I'd be just as excited to see these guys as any of the top players. The many hours they spend together covering tennis makes them friendly and jovial with each other, adding an extra layer of pleasure in my viewing and bringing a few laughs to the matches.

Other than the commentators, there is simply the game of tennis. These past two weeks have given me plenty to feed off of as I work from my computer and walk around the living room to keep myself active. When it's all over tomorrow, there will be a gap. I'll miss waking up and looking at the schedule of the day, and hoping for a "Technically Speaking" feature from the commentators. I'll have to wait until January to get the same quantity and quality of tennis. And by then, I hope I'll have a job, which might prevent me from enjoying every minute of coverage as I have recently. But I'll still be watching closely, breathless as the live score window updates on my browser (while of course still doing my work to the utmost!).

Some people have soap operas, but tennis is where I get my stories. There is triumph, comeback, success against all odds, and there is disappointment, loss, injury and heartbreak. It's just a ball being knocked around a few squares, but it's so much more. To me at least.

The Anti-Social Life

For the past few months, I've been living a hermit's life, with a few notable exceptions. I went to a wedding, as I blogged, and I went to see Wicked on tour. And even at the show, I was basically alone, having inherited the ticket from someone who could no longer attend. It was still a fun thing to do, but I wouldn't call it socializing.

The problem with working from home is that I'm not forced to befriend any coworkers other than my computer, and the television is my water-cooler (along with the IMDb message boards). Once I'm employed full-time, that shouldn't be a problem, hopefully with some co-workers near my own age. I'm curious to discover my friend-making skills in the workplace. Will we bond over projects instead of homework, tyrannical bosses in place of demanding professors? I hope it can be that easy: just start a conversation, go out for a happy hour and go home with one more friend to add to Facebook (one I've actually met).

Of course, there are always old friends. There are still some high school friends in town, but I've been remiss in seeing them for about four years, so we don't talk anymore than I do with the friends I left in New York. I'd like to reconnect, but we have such varying schedules that I would need to make a concerted effort to reach out. I want to, but the best of intentions rarely translate into actual invitations.

It's where my inherent introversion kicks in, the voice in my head saying it would just be easier to stay in for the night and watch television. I'm a rut-lover. If I could schedule out my entire week, down to the minute, I'd be a pretty happy camper. I love predictability and I hate change. Maybe it doesn't make sense that I love an industry with little stability, or that I went to college out of state and went abroad for a semester, but those were things I had to do, I had to push past the torturous change to get what I wanted. It's easy to push when the reward is the college I've dreamed of, but it's hard to make myself want to clean up and drive somewhere for a night with the girls. I know it's important, but my inner hermit just wants to put it off 'til tomorrow.

Eventually, though, I'll run out of tomorrows, and I don't want to make it into another decade of life still not going out or seeing people, I'm afraid of where that could lead. I'm already a knitter, and a cat person (though I love dogs as well), I don't want to end up the cranky old woman down the street.

How Unpaid is Too Unpaid?

Being back at home and looking for work, many of the best opportunities for work offer experience rather than money as compensation for your efforts. I apply for anything I think I can get done, and getting paid is just an added bonus to being able to fill the months with some kind of employment. I dread being completely without work and having to explain in an interview exactly what I've been doing with my time. At this stage in my career, experience, references and contacts are just as valuable as cash. And at this stage in the world economy, more and more companies are offering what they can for the work they need to get done.

But though my living expenses are low living at home, they are not non-existent. The price of gas still being what it is, having to drive to a 9-5, 5 days a week internship would soon be more savings than I'm willing to sacrifice without the promise of a full-benefits position to come. A day or two a week for meetings and updates is fine, but in this day and age, do I really need another desk and computer to do what can just as easily be done at home on my own laptop and bright pink rolling desk? It makes sense to me that if I'm not getting paid, I shouldn't be paying more than necessary either to get the job done. And for businesses in small offices, or even in home offices, why try and find room for an intern when you can just e-mail assignments and problem-solve with conference calls. I have been fortunate enough to find part-time jobs which I can complete from home, filling my days with work without cramming my mornings and evenings with commutes.

Being able to work from home is a luxury. I wake up early, but not too early. I have the luxury of kitchen proximity, so my lunch break isn't limited to sandwiches and leftovers. Pajamas are my workwear staple. But it also helps me get more work done. Instead of just 9-5, I work while watching primetime and as I lounge at the weekend. Having my office always right in front of me, I see work as a good way to fill any empty moment.

So while my bank account doesn't know I'm working, there are advantages to certain unpaid internships. Which isn't to say I'm not still on the lookout for paid jobs, but learning how to mould my school skills and homework habits into the real world in the comfort of my own home is like wading in the kiddie pool. And all the while, I hope I'm impressing my employers with my dedication and detail-orientation, inspiring them to recommend me for that 401k-included position, or hire me themselves. It's hard to swallow in the beginning, but there really is more to job compensation than dollars and cents.