Try, Try Again

How can you tell you're still alive when you feel numb from the constant audio/visual stimulation? Because it hurts when you get rejected.

In my case, rejected from a job. Earlier this year, I was turned down for an internship with a local monthly magazine. It stung, but I thought that perhaps I didn't have enough experience, or maybe I didn't take enough care with the writing sample I submitted. At that point I hadn't graduated, and still thought I had more options than an unpaid internship which was enough of a drive to be a concern.

I recently saw an ad for the same magazine's fall internship program, and wondered if I should apply. Would it be strange to send a full cover letter and resume to someone who had read all (or at least most) of it before and had turned me down? Was there even a chance they would want me five months later? I still haven't decided if it's worth it to try.

I also recently applied for a blogging position with a website. I had three subjects in mind, but started with the first one on the list, which happened to be weight loss. I'm currently trying to loss weight, so though I'm no expert, I could offer some solidarity with my posts. It wasn't until I had completed the first application that I learned I could only apply for one subject, then discuss another after I had been accepted. This was troubling, because weight loss was my least confident subject.

Sure enough, a week letter, I received an "unfortunately" e-mail. You know, the e-mails that start out complimentary, but sooner or later the "unfortunately" shows up and you realize the subject of the e-mail should just have been "Fail." I felt deflated. I thought that perhaps I wasn't a writer after all. I had been recommended by someone who wrote for them already, could my application really have been so bad?

Again I faced the quandary: should I accept defeat or try again? There was the possibility that with a stronger subject I might be accepted this time around. This thought was enough to push me to try again. And instead of taking a few days to get back to me, I had an e-mail in seven minutes. This time, there was a happy ending! I had the position of regular blogger on the subject of literature. Hurrah! The pay is competitive, if not consistent, and I'm excited to have an excuse to read more. And, oh, do I have lots to read now!

So what have we learned, class? If at first you don't succeed...