Friday, January 7, 2011


That was my reaction, plus an additional expletive, this morning when I stepped onto the scale. In a good way.

I write down everything I eat in a little Moleskine mini graph paper notebook. And the front sheet has my stats from whenever that volume was started. Today I started a new book, so I did the requisite weighing and tape measuring. Other than this, I haven't really been weighing myself or anything. I just do what I do, and notice how clothes fit. I didn't expect to see a number much lower than the last time, because you obviously lose less as you go. Also, I guess there is just a way you view yourself that you never expect to see change. And despite all the weight loss, I still had an image of myself as a number that was rounder. 150 seemed to make sense for some reason, and I was looking for a mid-140 to stare back at me.

So when the dial pointed to 135, it was a 'holy' reaction. I just confronted a number I had never associated with myself, and I wasn't prepared. It wasn't the difference of a few pounds, it was reaching this range that...I don't know how to describe it, it was just another milestone that reminded me the enormity of what I've done.

Another number: 6. I went to Kohl's last weekend and scoured the clearance racks for some jeans that weren't baggy (isn't it sad when you have to move on from a pair of jeans?) and ended up with a pair that were a size 6. But that's not just me, right? That's like a society thing that this number means something. It makes me feel like I've entered some other arena of clothing or something.

But anyway, I'm still reeling from my moment on the scale this morning. It's just as well that I didn't have to go into work!

No comments:

Post a Comment